Blended Families

What is a “blended” family.  Well, its basically any family structure outside of the traditional nuclear family, usually being at least one parent has a child from a previous relationship.  An internet dive showed that approximately 40-50% of American families are blended. Lets take a quick look at what that means beyond having a child from a previous relationship in the family.

Everything almost doubles for the child (and everyone else).  Instead of 2 sets of grandparents, we now have 4.  We also have extra cousins, up to two additional step parents, and some really interesting dynamics to work with now.  We know not everyone is going to get along.  We know there is a chance someone is going to try to be difficult.  So with all this extra family, we now have an entire new set of values and traditions to learn and navigate.  (I remember getting unleased upon for wrapping presents “from Santa”.  He wrapped em’ in my home, not hers though.  ( I later learned how much of a time saver this actually was, especially if you procrastinate.)  So yeah, a lot more to a blended family than your “traditional” nuclear family. 

I’ve found that one thing you should accept is the idea that not everyone has to love you, and you don’t have to love all of them.  This is ok, we are not living in a Hallmark movie here.  Somebody is not gonna care for you and so forth.  Don’t even let that idea of figuring out how to love people you just don’t like be a thing.  Or how to make your spouses knuckle headed Uncle Frank like you.   Focus more on seeing them as an Ally.  We don’t have to love someone for them to be an ally, just gotta have some common ground.  You don’t share to much common values or traditions, but you both tend to have the best interest at heart of some of the same people.  Say what you want, but there is a certain peace that comes with knowing you don’t have to feel a certain way about someone you just can’t see eye to eye with. 

I’ve worked with blended family issues among my clients.  Even had my own experiences.  Each blended family situation has it’s own unique situations.  If you are interested in therapy to address any issues you or a loved one may be experiencing, give me a call for a free consult and you can then decide if I will be a good fit for you.