Grief and loss

Grief.  It presents in many different ways and can be experienced for many different reasons.  Typically, it is associated with the loss of a loved one.  It can also be experienced with the loss of a job, position, support system, ability, phase of life, or an ability.  Grief is a very natural human response to loss.  It should not be played off or ignored.  We should process it so that we can continue to function and take care of our loved ones and ourselves. 

As most therapist, when I approach grief with a client, I tend to pull from the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Model.  This model bases grief on 5 stages that most people experience.

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

These five stages are generally experienced in the listed order, but it is not uncommon to experience them in any random order, switch back and forth between stages, or even to not experience a stage or two.  There is no set rule to how you experience them or how long it goes on.  You may even find yourself re-experiencing them later in life, maybe on days or events that remind you of your loss.

When working with a client who is experiencing grief, sessions are tailored to the needs of the client.  I attempt to assist my clients in coming to terms with the loss.  I refuse to use the idea of "getting over it", especially when the loss if a loved one.  You don't want to forget them, but it is important to come to terms with the loss and find a way to remember them in a way that honors them while allowing you to return to a life where you can continue to play your many other roles in life.

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